


If You Were Here I'd Never Have A Fear

by just_sinning_on_the_internet



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bottom Patrick, Dom Gerard Way, Frerard, M/M, Magical Tattoos, Protective Pete Wentz, Revenge Era, Revenge Era Frank Iero, Revenge Era Gerard Way, Shy Mikey Way, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Student Frank Iero, Student Gerard Way, Student Ray Toro, Teen Frank Iero
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-11 03:45:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7874926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_sinning_on_the_internet/pseuds/just_sinning_on_the_internet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I have a problem and I need to stop. </p><p> </p><p>Frank and Gerard used to best friends, until Gerard found out about Franks crush on him and went bat shit homophobic, but hey, soulmate tattoos never lie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I have a problem and I need to get help and stop writing new books I am so sorry.

All the things that you never ever told me

 

The boy was awoken by his alarm blaring, making him groan as he turned over and turned it off, checking his wrist as he did every morning, Frank was disappointed yet again when he saw the name of his soulmate was not yet tattooed on his wrist, he couldn't wait until the day he woke up to finally see his soulmate tattoo adorning his wrist. Frank got ready, dreading the day of hell he had to endure as he pulled a shirt over his head. School was hell, home was hell, life was hell. It had been like this since that fateful day two years ago, he didn't know Gerard was there, he didn't know Gerard had heard what he said. But it just goes to show, when you're telling your friend your crush, your crush on a b o y, it's always good to make sure no one was around, especially said homophobic crush. It was Frank's own fault, if he wasn't such a faggot, everything would be better, if he hadn't gone ahead and fallen in love with his straight, homophobic, best friend, none of this would be happening, but Frank didn't have the best luck, his life was clear proof of that. Frank was halfway to school now, his thoughts distracting him from the walk. He was honestly surprised none of his bully's had seen him, seeing as some of them tended to use the same path as him, maybe he was too early for them. The hell, sorry, school gates came into view, and Frank sighed, wishing that he could go back to his bed and sleep. Sleep was an escape for the hazel eyed boy, and he slept as much as he could, sleep drowned out the thoughts. As he went to his first class, Frank could already feel the insanity clawing at his mind, but he did his best to ignore it, focusing on the teachers, incredibly boring if he did say so himself, lesson. He was in a trance for most of the lesson, the teachers drone basically putting him to sleep, until she said something that made Frank's head shoot up, half in excitement, half in fear, "Gerard Way? Seeing as you got kicked out of your old class, and are now wasting my time, go and take a seat next to Frank, you've lost the privilege to decide where you sit" the teacher snapped, obviously annoyed by the interruption as she pointed to the empty seat next to Frank. Gerard grumbled, and all Frank could get was 'faggot' as Gerard reluctantly sat next to him, slamming his bag on to the desk and glaring at Frank. "Don't get any ideas faggot, I don't want to catch your disease" Gerard growled, disgust clearly written on his face when he stared at Frank, the shorter boy just ignored him however, rolling his eyes and sighing.  
The lesson passed quickly, Gerard surprisingly docile, relaxed even, which was so,etching Frank wasn't expecting, and although it was nice, Frank was confused as to why Gerard wasn't yelling at him. The bell rang, and Frank waited until Gerard was packed up and halfway across the room before he packed up, rushing into the hallway and blending in, a tactic he'd used to hide from bullies many times. He had art next, a class he both loved and dreaded for the same reason, Gerard. Gerard was good at art, amazing actually, and he tended to zone out and just focus on his work, he always looked adorable while he was doing art. Back when they were friends, Gerard used to let Frank watch him draw, and they'd stay up together watching horror movies on weekends, Frank missed that more than anything, he missed Gerard, but Gerard hated him. Art class was the closet Frank got to that anymore, but he had to be subtle when he watched Gerard, or he'd have a fit. Gerard must remember how close they were, he usually just threw insults and avoided the beating when he could, when he couldn't however, he didn't go as hard as the others, and Frank was grateful for that at least. Frank took a seat at a table in the back, behind Gerard so that he could conveniently watch the older boy work. Frank wasn't even good at art, sure he liked it, but he wasn't good at it, and he'd mostly taken it because of Gerard, if he was being completely honest here. Gerard was painting today, something Frank had always enjoyed more than anything, seeing as Gerard concentrated more, and a concentrated Gerard was an even hotter Gerard. Gerard began to turn towards Frank, and he quickly looked down and began his work, not wanting to piss Gerard off even more. Class zoomed by, as every one with Gerard did, and before Frank knew it, it was lunch. Frank was last to leave the class, looking around the empty hallways before running to the bathroom near the theatre, seeing as it was usually empty. Frank opened the door, going in and sighing when he found it empty. The short boy took out a cigarette, lighting it and inhaling the smoke gratefully, he used to smoke with Gerard, but that was long ago, and now it was just him. The bathroom door opened, making Frank jump and try to hide his cigarette, until he saw who it was. "Gerard" Frank mumbled, backing away slightly as he stared at the taller boy,  
"Faggot, fancy seeing you here" Gerard smirked, advancing towards Frank.   
"What're you doing here?" Frank questioned, backing away until his back hit the wall, Gerard didn't answer, continuing to come closer until he was only a few metres away.  
"I just wanted to see my favourite faggot" Gerard was still smirking, looking Frank up and down, Frank gulped, Gerard didn't beat him up as much as the others, but he still beat him up, and Frank knew he was much stronger. Frank was cornered, Gerard standing between him and the only exit, there weren't any windows in this bathroom, only holes in the wall, but they had bars on them so there was no escape there. "I saw you checking me out in art" Gerard stepped closer, shoving Frank into the wall and causing the shorter boy to stumble and almost lose his balance   
"N-no I w-wasn't. I w-was L-looking at your a-a-art" Frank stammered, looking anywhere but Gerard  
"Sure you were faggot, I know you want my dick up your ass" Gerard growled, placing his arms on either side of Frank, trapping the smaller boy even more. Frank shook his head rapidly, blushing from how close they were, Gerard's glare hardened, and Frank shrunk back, hoping Gerard would just get it over with. Gerard raised his fist, getting ready to punch Frank before the smaller boy noticed something, "G-G-Gerard...... W-Why is my n-n-name appearing on y-your wrist?"


	2. Chapter Two

Gerard was disgusted, looking between Frank and the name that had just appeared on his wrist as he tried to process what had happened. He grabbed Franks wrist, roughly pulling the sleeve up and snarling when he saw his name on Franks wrist. The smaller boy stayed quiet, praying to god that Gerard wouldn't pull his sleeve up any further and expose the cuts and scars that were covering his arms. Thankfully Gerard didn't, he just let go of Frank's arm and left without a word, leaving Frank standing there, slightly hurt and very confused. The bell startled Frank back into reality, making him grab his bag and head back to class, trying, and failing, to push all thoughts of Gerard out of his mind.

 

The bullies finally caught up with Frank after school, cornering him on the way home and shoving him to the ground, kicks and punches battering the hazel eyed boy as he curled into a ball, trying to ignore the insults that always came with the beatings. He didn't know how long it went for, only that by the time they were finished the sun was low in the sky and he could see the moon beginning to rise. Frank didn't have to motivation to get up, instead deciding to continue laying in the alleyway, hoping he didn't get murdered, although that may not be that bad. He never thought the day he got his soulmate tattoo would be like this, it was supposed to be good, and happy, not like this. His soulmate was supposed to love him, care about him, protect him, not hate him like Gerard did. Frank didn't know why this was happening to him, he didn't know what the fuck he'd done to deserve this, he just wanted someone to love him, as pathetic as that sounded. Frank shifted slightly, furrowing his brow at the footsteps approaching, he really didn't want people asking if he was okay, because he was sick of lying. He wasn't okay. "Frankie?" A voice fractured the silence, a voice calling him something he hadn't heard for years. Gerard. Frank stayed quiet, hoping that Gerard would just leave, maybe think he was asleep. "Shit Frankie" Gerard sighed, and Frank knew he'd be frowning, probably running a hand through his hair as he tried to figure out what to do. Frank didn't move, closing his eyes tightly, this is a dream, it must be a dream, there was no way that Gerard still walked down their alley, the alley that led to their houses, the alley they always walked through together, there was no way. Frank tensed when he felt arms pick him up, arms so familiar it almost hurt, arms that had held him when he cried, arms that used to pick him up and swing him around, Gerard's arms. He went limp again, scared that if Gerard knew he was awake he'd revert back to the dick he usually was. Gerrard started walking, carrying Frankie home, the rhythm of his walk lulling Frank into a doze. Gerard arrived at Franks house, fishing the key out of the smaller boys pocket and unlocking the door, gently laying Frank down on the bed before turning to leave. Frank, barely awake by this point, whined, and reached out for Gerard, grabbing his arm and pulling him down onto the bed. Gerard smiled slightly, deciding that laying down with him wouldn't hurt, wouldn't make him a faggot, girls cuddled their friends all the time and it didn't make them faggots. With that logic in mind, Gerard closed his eyes, pulling Frank closer before he fell asleep. 

 

Gerard woke three hours later, enjoying how close Frank was before he shook his head, he wasn't a faggot. The taller boy got up slowly, not wanting to wake the younger boy. He went to the window, smiling when he saw the ladder was still there, the ladder Gerard always used to sneak into Frank's room back when they were friends. He climbed down the ladder, checking Frank one more time before disappearing into the night and going back to his own place, only a couple of houses down. His parents weren't home yet, something came up at work and they were both working double time, Mikey, his younger brother, was there however, and he smiled widely when he saw Gerard. Gerard could always talk to Mikey, who despite being younger than him, was always good at understanding. The older boy sighed, taking a seat and resting his head in his hands. "What's wrong Gee?" Mikey questioned, staring intently at Gerard

"I got my soulmate tattoo" Gerard mumbled, closing his eyes to stop the tears

"That's great!" Mikey exclaimed, smiling before he saw Gerard's expression, "Or not?"

"It's Frank, Mikey, my soulmate is Frank. And he probably hates me after all I did to him, and I hate myself because it's wrong Mikey. It's so wrong. He's a guy! A guy Mikey! It's a sin! I shouldn't be attracted to guys Mikey, it's disgusting, I'm disgusting." Gerard ranted, standing up and pacing around the room. Mikey stared at Gerard, thinking briefly before he spoke

"' Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.' That's from the bible Gerard, loving someone is never a sin. Hate is a sin, love isn't." Mikey stated, crossing his arms across his chest as he stared at his brother. Gerard was silent now, pondering the new information, 

"Even if it wasn't a sin, he probably hates me, especially after all I did. I insulted him every day, heck I even beat him up a few times, and why? Because I hated myself, I hated how he made me feel, I hated that he made me love him, and I hated myself because I loved him just as much. I abandoned him Mikey! He needed me, poured his heart out to me, and I completely freaked out and fucking abandoned him. I'm horrible Mikey, I'm fucking horrible." Gerard was crying by now, his hazel eyes shining with tears. Mikey surveyed his brother, tapping his foot before he spoke,

"You're soulmates for a reason, talk to him, explain yourself. It may take time, but you're meant to be."


	3. Chapter Three

Frank woke up cold and alone, sunlight streaming directly into his eyes and causing him to curse loudly as he got up. He couldn't remember what happened last night, all he could remember was the beating, and then Gerard carrying him. Frank thought it was just a dream, but a look at the bruises littering his body crushed that suspicion. He sighed in annoyance, wishing he could just go back to sleep and ditch school. It seemed like an amazing idea to Frank. No one was home, the school would send a letter home about his absence but he could easily get rid of that. Frank decided that was a wonderful idea, and with that in mind he climbed back into bed.

Gerard went to school, trying to quell the worry that was growing in his chest the longer Frank wasn't there. Was his Frankie okay? Did something bad happen after Gerard left? Questions swam in the older boys mind, causing him to zone out and ignore most of his teachers as they droned on. Gerard ignored his 'friends', he was sick of their bullshit, and this was him choosing his Frankie over them. His friends gave up when they saw he wasn't interested, muttering insults as they walked away. Gerard sat with Mikey at lunch, and Mikey introduced him to his friends, Brendon, Patrick, Pete, and Ryan. Mikey hadn't seen Frank either. 

 

Frankie spent the day lazing around, watching TV and napping at random times throughout the day. He missed Gerard, but he blamed the stupid soulmate bond shit for making his feelings more 'intense'. Gerard didn't love him. Gerard didn't even like him. He hated Frank, and Frank honestly couldn't blame him. Still, Frank wished Gerard was there. He wished things could be different. He wished Gerard loved him, but people don't always get what they want. He missed Gerard, missed him so much it hurt. Frank was done, he was done with feeling sad all the time, he was done with wanting, no, needing, to cut. He was done. Frank sat on his bed, wondering in an idle manner if anyone would actually miss him, and how easy it would be for him to just... sleep. The thoughts swirled around the mind of the hazel eyed boy, dragging him deeper and deeper into the hole he had no chance of getting out of. Frank didn't want to think anymore. He didn't want to have to go through this anymore. He'd decided that no one would actually miss him. A few would shed tears, but only because they were supposed to. His 'soulmate' wouldn't miss him. His parents wouldn't. His friends wouldn't. Nobody would. Frank laughed at his thoughts, the sound loud against the silence that night often had. He checked the time, raising his eyebrows when he realised that it was barley six. It felt more like eleven. He dragged himself back into the kitchen, deciding that he may as well eat his feelings whilst he thought about his own death. Such happy thoughts! Frank chuckled, quieter this time as he didn't want to disturb the silence more than he had to. All was good, he hadn't had to interact with anyone, which was something he was always grateful for. But then the doorbell rang.

 

Gerard bit his lip, anxiety clawing at his gut as he stood outside Frank's door. He missed his FRankie, and he was terrified that something bad had happened to the younger boy. Frank answered, and Gerard sighed in relief, studying Frank for any visible signs of harm or distress. Frank's mouth was open in shock as he stared at Gerard, and he had absolutely no idea why Gerard was here. Gerard seemed to sense Frank's confusion, and decided to explain why he was standing on the younger boys doorstep. "You weren't in class and I got worried" He stated in a blunt sort of manner, not wanting to waste time about why he was here.   
"Okayyyyyy? I'm fine" Frank crossed his arms as he stared at Gerard with distrust, GGerard couldn't blame him.   
"Can I come in? We need to talk" Gerard armed at Frank, taking in every detail of his beautiful face.  
"Sureeeee?" Frank's voice was still laced with distrust, but he let Gerard in. The house was cold, and Gerard saw Frank go to turn on the heater as the older boy looked around the house. Frank sat down on the couch, and Gerard mirrored his actions, sitting at the other end so he didn't make Frank uncomfortable. "I'm sorry" Gerard spoke, breaking the silence that had fallen between them. Frank raised his eyebrows, confusion clear on his face as he stared at Gerard. "I'm sorry for how I treated you. I'm sorry for abandoning you. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me. I'm sorry about how I reacted and I'm sorry that I'm such a horrible person. After I heard you... And Mikey talking about how you loved me, I realised that I loved you to. I freaked out, I'd always been told that being gay was bad, a sin, that I'd go to hell for it. I hated you for making me realise that, but I mostly hated myself. I hated myself for being gay. I hate myself for how I treated you. I hate myself for pushing you away. I hate myself for everything bad that I ever did to you. I hate myself" Gerard finished, not noticin that he had started crying about halfway through his rant. Frank bit his lip, he didn't like it when Gee cried, he never had and he never would. The smaller boy scooted closer, wrapping his arms around Gerard in a gentle manner and hugging him tightly. Whispered words of comfort left the younger boys lips as he held Gerard, rubbing his back to help soothe him. Gerard 's sobs died down, the older boy had his head buried in the place where Frank's shoulder met his neck and he was breathing deeply, Frank's closeness helping to calm him down. He pulled away after a while, staring at Frankie with bloodshot eyes. "I'm sorry Frankie"   
"I know Gee, thank you." Frank nodded, a smile gracing his lips as he pulled Gerard back into a hug. "I don't know if I can forgive you right away, you hurt me Gee. However, we are soulmates, and I miss you, so I'm willing to give us a shot." Frank mumbled, trying to keep his smile from getting even bigger. Gerard squealed, hugging Frank tightly as 'thank you's left his lips. Frank laughed, and Gerard decided he loved that sound and made it his mission to make Frank laugh everyday. "Did you sleep with me last night?"Frank asked, Gerard nodded in a shy manner, "Could you stay with me again tonight? Please?" Frank begged, giving Gerard the puppy eyes.   
"I'd be honoured to Frankie."


	4. First date

Frank sat up, feeling tears well in his eyes as he recalled the dream, a dream that could never happen. He just wished he could forget Gerard, forget everything involving him. He couldn't get back to sleep, and instead decided to shower, hoping it would distract him. The water was scalding, burning the boys skin as he stood there leaning his head against the tile. He liked this, he liked the burning feeling, it made him feel alive. Eventually he turned the water off, drying off with a towel before getting dressed and checking the time. 6:30 am. An hour and a half until school started. 'I need to stop moping over Gerard. He's not worth it. He doesn't love me and I need to move on with my life.' Frank thought to himself. He was pathetic. He'd never even had a boyfriend, he was missing out on so much. Thoughts like this continued to run through his mind, until his alarm blared, signalling he had twenty minutes to get to school. Frank got up, grabbing his bag and his keys on the way to his car. He slammed the door, turning the key and blasting his music as he drove to school. He got there jus before the bell rung, earlier than usual. He walked to his first class, completely ignoring Gerard as the older boy passed him. Frank sat at the back, quietly getting his books out and waiting for the lesson to start. "Hey" an unfamiliar voice spoke, followed by an unfamiliar boy sitting next to him. "I'm Hayden, I've seen you around and you're a real cutie. I was wondering if you wanted to get a drink sometime?" Hayden asked, smirking at Frank.  
"I-I-I-I..... Sure. I'd be delighted." Frank smiled, tugging the sleeves of his sweater down to cover the shameful tattoo even more. 

 

The day seemed to fly, Hayden had given Frank his number and the pair had been texting ever since. Gerard was still on Frank's mind, and the hazel eye boy was sure he always would be, seeing as they were soulmates, not to mention the tattoo. However, he was done crying over a soulmate who would never love him. Hayden seemed to be interested in him. He was cute, with blue eyes that twinkled and blond hair that always seemed to shine. Frank smiled, walking down the halls with a spring in his step. "Frank! Hey Frank!" Gerard called, running after Frank. The older boy wasn't ready to date Frank, but being away from the younger boy was agony, and if they were friends, at least Gerard could make sure his Frankie was okay. Frank turned, staring st Gerard with wide eyes. Gerard caught up to him, bending over to catch his breath before speaking. "I-I wanna go back... T-t-to how things used to be with us. I miss you" Gerard mumbled, staring into Frank's eyes. Frank was speechless, staring at Gerard in disbelief. Just when he'd agreed to move on this happened. Motherfucker. "I don't know Gee" Frank sighed, crossing his arms over his chest and biting his lip. He missed Gerard, more than words. Maybe this would help. "You got one chance. One." Frank nodded, staring up at Gerard. Gerard smiled widely, hugging Frank briefly before he pulled away. The taller boy gave Frank his number, grinning like a lunatic as he walked off. Frank was still in shock, a smile playing across his lips as he walked to his car. 

 

It was the weekend, and Frank was getting ready for his date, with Hayden. Life had been better lately, he had his best friend back, who was also his soulmate, and that was amazing. He also had a guy who was interested in him. Frank gave himself a once over in the mirror, nodding as he took in the black skinny jeans and white dress shirt. Hayden had said to dress nice. Frank had to admit, he cleaned up nicely. He grinned as the doorbell rung, running down the stairs and texting Gerard before he composed himself and opened the door. Hayden grinned when his eyes landed on Frank, and he took the shorter boy's hand, kissing it and winking at Frank. Frank blushed, biting his lip as he followed Hayden to his car. He opened the door for Frank, smiling like a gentleman and even buckling up Frank's seatbelt. 

 

They arrived at the restaurant, and Hayden led Frank in, holding his hand and grinning. They got a table at the back and Hayden pulled his chair out for him, pushing it back in once Frank had taken a seat. They chatted and looked at the menu, Frank ordered pasta and Hayden ended up ordering a pizza. The night passed quickly, full of laughter and bad jokes and kisses. Hayden drove Frank back home, kissing him in front of the door before he said goodbye. Frank went inside, giddy with happiness and completely ignoring the part of him that was filled with unease.


End file.
